


Clint's Ultimate Truths

by Kisleth



Series: Though Scattered Across the Universe, We'll Always Find Each Other [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, thought process
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 01:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kisleth/pseuds/Kisleth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint knows a few things to be the ultimate truths of the world. Secret truths known only to a few and even they do not know what they are privy to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clint's Ultimate Truths

Clint knows a few things to be the ultimate truths of the world. Secret truths known only to a few and even they do not know what they are privy to. He holds these facts of his life, his reality, close to his chest. He is no fool who might show his cards too soon, not with the players he's up against. There is too much to lose if he plays a trick too soon.

The first truth, the most vivid truth, is that red is life. Red is life is blood pounding through his veins when he's excited for his first bulls-eye. Red is life is fire and pyrotechnics and circus tents. Red is life is blood in his mouth as his mentor beats him within an inch of his being and leaves him for Death to escort on. Red is life is sight marks on a target he'll get paid handsomely for. Red is life is blood slowly freezing in the barren wastes of northern Russia. Red is life is gorgeous, curling hair on a deadly woman who sides with him and becomes his most trusted ally. Red is life is guilt because he's spilled too much red but at least he isn't alone. But mostly, to him, red is life is longing because the one woman he's ever wanted will never truly want him back.

The second truth is that friends lie. All his friends lie to him and there is no exception. The real exception is that friends lie at the correct times. Friends lie to keep him out of trouble with his abusive father (in vain but it's the thought that counts). Friends lie to make him feel good when he's at his worst moments, when he wants to throw himself off the highest point he can climb. Friends lie to cover the horrible truths that he can't handle at the moment. But mostly, to him, friends lie when they say that they care.

The third truth is geometry and physics are always important. Any other school subject can go die in a fire, because the pair of the previously mentioned have saved Clint's ass more than he cares to count. Physics saves when he has to calculate what angle he needs to shoot his arrow to make it hit the right target from so very far away. Geometry saves when he has to figured out the ricochet to take out two men when he only has one bullet left. Physics saves when he has to run and leap from a roof as the building collapses under him. But mostly, to him, physics and geometry don't swim on the page until he has to puke like words always do.

The last truth that complete trust is a weakness. He trusted his father without question because that is what little boys do with their parents and for it, he was beaten until he could barely stand from the pain. He trusted his foster parents because he was still an optimistic little boy and for it, he was used for the money the state gave them and starved because they focused on themselves. He trusted the man who became a second father to him, his mentor and only friend in the big world and for it, he was beaten passed unconsciousness and left for dead in a ditch. He didn't trust for a while after that.

When he did again, if earned him a bullet in his back for his troubles. Natasha apologizes and he doesn't blame her, he knows it was an accident... trust still leaves a sour taste in his mouth. He trusts SHIELD to not kill him if he toes the fine like and for it? He meets his downfall in human form.

He may not trust many and those never completely but he knows that he will trust Phil Coulson with everything that he is—even if it destroys him.


End file.
